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OBDOBJA 44 erasure. In “Quarter Past Eleven,” the Ponterosso market’s chatter fades as Herta’s year ning erupts in a poetic cri de cœur: “Take me back to the blue veins of origins!” The “I” here is a wound laid bare. In “At Five p.m.,” the dead goldsmith’s apparition triggers a surreal “I” of peace, “like the raspberry bush,” a fleeting truce with alienation. In “At Eight a.m.,” the wound reopens. Konrad—while Herta tries to assert her desire—inter rupts her with a “Why didn’t you say right away that you wanted […],” transforming intimacy into a transaction. Here, Konrad’s voice is the knife—cold, transactional— whereas Herta’s desire becomes the apple, forcibly divided and left to fester. These shifts are not stylistic quirks but emotional lifelines, each “I” a gasp for air in the “suffo cating slime” of Herta’s world. 4 The authenticity of the self: a rebellion against institutional erasure The shifts from third to first person in Herta’s diary are more than stylistic choices; they are acts of survival, a linguistic rebellion against the suffocating expectations of her world. Like Carla Lonzi (2024: 917), who listened to the “agonizing stranger within” to grasp a truth she suddenly realized she lacked, Hergold excavates the raw core of self hood buried under social performativity. This authenticity is not a static ideal but a vulnerable, throbbing presence, or “something precious, defenseless,” demanding pro tection (Hergold 2019: 53). The 1970s libertarian movements, particularly feminist cri tiques of institutional power, reverberate in Hergold’s work. Lonzi’s manifesto, La cri- tica è potere (1970: 5), against Argan’s (1963: 26) establishment criticism finds its echo in Hergold’s disdain for Slovenian literary gatekeeping: “In Slovenia, literary criticism created a climate of how you have to write to succeed” (Hergold 2015: 90). Here, con formity is violence, and creativity is colonized by critique. If Herta’s “I” is a visceral revolt, Lonzi’s “agonizing stranger” theorizes it as feminist praxis. This tension erupts allegorically in the thief scene (in “One Thirty p.m.”): the intruder that slips into the kitchen through the window robs the paralyzed Herta, powerless to resist, violates her space, and abuses her, mirroring the predatory nature of conformist society. His invasion embodies how institutions, such as the “system of icons” in Herta’s world, exploit vul nerability, erasing difference to maintain hegemony. The thief does not just steal money, he robs Herta of her agency. Herta’s powerlessness is not passivity but a silent scream against a culture that demands selfbetrayal as the price for belonging. This systemic violence manifests through recurring symbols: the knife and apple, first appearing in the entry “At Seven a.m.” (“give me the knife and let’s eat this apple […] one for you, one for me”; Hergold 2019: 21), become leitmotifs of oppression. In their domestic debut, the knife divides the apple; a deceptively innocent act that prefigures their symbolic roles: the knife as violent critique (sharp and institutional) and the apple as forbidden knowledge (yearning and doomed to rot). By the entry “At Eight a.m.” (Hergold 2019: 27), these symbols evolve: Konrad weaponizes intimacy, reducing Herta’s desire to an itemized debt; the knife now his transactional voice, the apple her fragmented autonomy. In the thief scene, the duality resurfaces: the intruder’s violation mirrors how institutions slash at authenticity while exploiting unrealized potential. 323